Posted on Wednesday, 23 November 2022

Benidorm to Pattaya

Google Maps says it would take you 2,475 hours or 14 weeks to walk from Benidorm to Pattaya – and that the route ‘includes a ferry'.

Google of course is assuming that you are some sort of superhuman (an accusation seldom levelled at frequenters of the above two resorts) who doesn't need to sleep.

But the Google Maps service does illustrate just how far apart these famous (infamous?) resorts are.

Is Benidorm similar to Pattaya’?

The vast distance of 12,764km is undeniable. But when it comes to cities like Pattaya, Benidorm offers some surprising similarities – as well as a fair few differences.

The Junta Effect

History of Benidorm tourism

Under General Franco, Spain's military dictatorship endeavoured to attract Europeans to resorts like Benidorm in the 1970s, with considerable success.

Since then, the hotels and apartment blocks have risen fast and package tourism to this former fishing village has exploded.

Pattaya tourism

In Thailand, more recent political upheavals saw the army take power in May 2014.

Tourists were initially put off by the crisis, but numbers have recovered somewhat.

However, the existence of the threat of political activists, who continue to hold rallies across Thailand does not put all travellers at ease – even in 'anything goes' Pattaya.

Benidorm v’s Pattaya politically

Both cities have been dramatically affected by military dictatorships, but Spain's encounter is a distant memory, while in Thailand uncertainty remains.

Sex industries

Pattaya

Thailand is often associated with a relaxed approach to prostitution, with nowhere more evident of this than in Pattaya.

Pattaya is famous for its unparalleled commercial sex industry. Massage parlours and 'dance bars' occupy large swathes of the city.

Pattaya nightlife, Thailand (vassaire/Bigstock.com)

Benidorm

Benidorm also appears to have plenty of venues where carnal urges can be satisfied for the requisite number of euros.

Benidorm v’s Pattaya

In terms of scale, despite a number of massage parlours and sex clubs in Benidorm, Benidorm is a minnow to Pattaya in this particular arena.

Benidorm v’s Pattaya - Tower blocks

The powers of both Benidorm and Pattaya appear to have quite a predilection for high rise buildings, although the Spanish resort's spurt appears to be slowing while Pattaya's is gaining speed.

Plenty of Russian money has entered the Thai resort in recent years, as business interests are developed and increasing numbers of Russians swap Siberian chills for Asian heat and Muscovite frowns for Thai smiles.

Prevalence of English breakfasts

While finding a 'Full English' in Pattaya is still fairly easy, the influx of Chinese and Russian tourists has seen the English classic pushed down the menu in favour of dishes that your humble correspondent could not decipher.

A trip to Benidorm however, invariably results in tripping over establishments serving English breakfasts.

Prevalence of English people

Like the English breakfast, the English tourist is becoming an endangered species in Pattaya, as are their Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish counterparts (along with their respective early morning meals).

Benidorm, however, seems to have an intravenous feed of English people (and their Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish counterparts).

Pattaya, Thailand (opasstudio/Bigstock.com)

Drink

How do alcohol costs in Benidorm compare to Pattaya?

Thanks to steep rises in alcohol taxes in Thailand, you may well find it cheaper to buy a beer in Benidorm than Pattaya.

Happy Hours

However, in both resorts one can find 'happy hours' for the very cheapest tipples.

High end bars

Equally, both destinations boast a range of high-class establishments for those who want to get rid of their cash as quickly as possible.

Curry houses

Having explored both Benidorm and Pattaya cities I can attest that both offer curries, although in my experience Pattaya boasts the better ones.

This could be because thousands of Indian tourists head to Pattaya every year and they would turn their noses up at a sub-par Balti or paneer butter masala.

By contrast, the one I had in Benidorm last summer was entirely forgettable.

Beaches

Pattaya beaches

But if Pattaya rules when it comes to curries, it falls seriously short on the beach front.

While Thailand is blessed with some of the most beautiful beaches on the planet, none of them are located in Pattaya.

The main beach is a narrow, crowded strip peppered with ranks of umbrella-shaded deck-chairs, where you can buy an overpriced beer and watch hundreds of Chinese people try, and usually fail, to utilise jet skis.

Benidorm beaches

Benidorm, on the other hand, possesses three wide, clean beaches where you can find your own spot even in high summer.

When it comes to the Benidorm playa, the 2km Playa de Levante is definitely among Europe’s most visited beaches.

Who you'll meet in Pattaya vs Benidorm

Russians in Pattaya

Up until recently, cheap, pre-booked packages meant that Russian tourists still arrived from Moscow in droves.

Sanctions by western countries on Russia due to the ongoing Russian invasion into Ukraine has however seen the number of Russians visiting Thailand, dramatically drop in the last year.

Chinese in Pattaya

Likewise, the Chinese continue to arrive in their thousands, often gazing in wonder at the bright lights and salacious sights – whilst being shepherded around in large groups.

Other nationalities in Pattaya

Indian and Arabs visit Pattaya too, sometimes even bringing their wives along to see the various licentious spectacles – of a sort that would simply be impossible in their own lands.

Socialising

While all these groups are pleasant enough, neither are terribly interested in meeting people from other countries. Certainly the lack of a common language hinders international interaction – or perhaps they simply have other things on their minds!

Brits in Benidorm

Benidorm, on the other hand, is a friendlier affair – at least for a UK holidaymaker – not least because almost everyone is from the UK and speaks what often passes for English.

Mancunian and Liverpudlian dialects are still commonplace, mixing with the voices of Scots, Geordies, Scandinavians and Dutch.

Best Hosts?

And in terms of local hospitality, I'd have to call it a draw between the Spaniards and the Thais: both are very friendly indeed.

Get a Quote